Word From the Principal

Everyone Belongs

One of our key phrases that connects our school values into action is ‘Everyone Belongs’. I am always encouraged to hear feedback from families who share that their young person feels supported and connected at school. Walking about at play time we see beautiful examples of students including others, looking after younger students and caring for each other. But what about when things aren’t going well? Friendship difficulties are also a normal part of growing up. Children are learning how to join a game, negotiate different ideas, share resources, cope with disappointment, lead sometimes and follow at other times, and recognise how their actions affect others.

Some of the issues we help children work through can feel very significant to them: Who gets the sports gear? Who is allowed in the hut? Which team am I on? Why didn’t they want to play my game? These situations are opportunities to teach the skills needed for positive friendships.

If your child comes home upset, it can help to listen and explore before trying to solve the problem. Ask questions such as “What happened before that?” “What did you do next?” “What do you think they were wanting?” and “What could you try tomorrow?” can help build a fuller picture.

It is also useful to think about what each child brings to the interaction. Sometimes another child has behaved poorly. At other times there has been a misunderstanding or both children need support to respond differently.
A powerful question to help children consider is: “How can I be a positive friend to others?” This helps them focus on what they can control - how they speak to others, whether they include people, how they respond to different ideas, and how they put things right when they make a mistake.

Sometimes students say they are ‘bored’ or ‘bullied’ when they mean ‘left out’ or someone was ‘unkind’. Bullying generally involves repeated harmful behaviour and an imbalance of power. Not every disagreement, friendship change or occasion of being left out is bullying. Using accurate language does not minimise a child’s feelings. Being left out or spoken to unkindly can still really hurt. It simply helps us understand the problem and provide the right support.

Home and School Partnership

Children will sometimes share different aspects of a situation at home and at school, depending on what has stood out to them or what they are thinking about. Talking together helps us build a full picture of what has happened and how best to support them and others involved. If there is repeated unkindness, deliberate exclusion, intimidation or behaviour that is making your child feel unsafe, we absolutely want to know about it so we can work together to support all students as they grow and develop their social skills.

At playtime we provide a range of activities including sports gear, trampolines, go-karts, loose-parts play and hut building. These create different opportunities for children to connect and support tuakana–teina relationships. Everyone Belongs doesn’t mean children will never disagree. It means each person is valued, children are supported to care for and include others, and difficulties are worked through together.